Party-frog

Saturday night I was dropped off at home after a very nice dinner party.  In the breezeway by the stairs I noticed a very large ceramic frog.  At least in my party-fog I perceived it as being ceramic because it was glistening in the moonlight in porcelain-like perfection.  I bent down to take a closer look and, sure enough, it was as real as the tiny glasses of Grand Marnier I had consumed earlier.  Not being able to let sleeping frogs lie I poked it with my house key.  It rewarded my temerity by exploding into the air in one spectacular arc, landing on the trunk of a nearby palm tree, a good five feet away and eight feet up.  After my heart settled back into its socket I fumbled with my stupid little cellphone and took a picture because it’s the biggest damned frog I’ve ever seen.

Flashy Pants

On Sunday I was glad to see the ass end of my summer bowling league fade off into the dark corners of Manor Lanes; Ft. Lauderdale, FL.  I started the season with a 168 average and finished with 167, hardly numbers to brag about.  I liked the name of our team, Flash in the Pants, and our third place finish (out of 15) wasn’t all that bad, but some bad luck and faulty scheduling on the part of the league officers conspired to relegate us to mediocrity.  The same members of my summer team are going to carry the banner into the fall/winter schedule so maybe we will get a more fortunate draw and even, maybe, a better name.  As my BFF Rachel Maddow says, “Watch this space.”

Lower case caps

So far I have purchased eight of these caps from DealStock.com.  They are colorful; I love the metal clasp in the back (as opposed to Velcro or elastic of some sort); they are cheap ($10 each but currently on sale for $6 each); shipping is free; there seems to be no tax charged (in my state) and, best of all, there is no logo of any kind!   The colors offered are aqua, beige, black, blue, brown, charcoal, fuchsia, gold, gray, green, khaki, lavender, maroon, mint, navy, olive, orange, pink, purple, red, rust, sand, sky blue, white, wine, and yellow.  I suppose we could play a game to try to guess which eight I chose but that would be a wild waste of time and there certainly would be no prize.  I plan on donating some of them to friends who need something to cover their unsightly bald spots.  DealStock.com also sells this style of cap in a camouflage pattern in various colors, none of which would ever make your head disappear into any known surrounding foliage.

I don't know anywthing about art, but...

This painting, “ti(ME): 1340” is 18”x24” and you’ll just have to work on what it means (to you).  July was a fairly prolific month for me, which is all to the good I suppose but I too am questioning the why and from whence these weird ideas sometimes spring.  My second July piece is “Selfie, A Happy Rodeo Clown.”  Most of the reviews on this one were exceptionally negative:  "Nauseating" and  "I've never seen anything so frightful in my life!"  It’s a good thing I’m not fazed by any “un” words from my critics.  At least nobody said, “Interesting!”

The first and current painting in August is entitled “Still Life with Bugle” but don’t count on the title resulting in an obvious resolution.  The next one in line is “Hello, Mr. Barnum; you wanted to see me?” and it only exists in my dreams because it might be superseded by “The NYTimes Crossword; Where’s The Fucking Eraser?”  Just kidding.  Uh...maybe not.

The Day of the Watermelon



Today is National Watermelon Day.  This one was given to me by my neighbor Brian, a snowbird from Toronto.  It was purchased at Whole Foods (so not cheap!) and was grown in Bakersfield, Calif.  So far Brian has given me salmon, shrimp, broccoli and, now, watermelon.  I have given him two bagels and two paperbacks.  Sometimes we exchange pleasantries.

Year one

One year ago today we pulled into my new parking space at my new apartment and I took up residence in my new state of mind, heart and physical persona; Ft. Lauderdale, Florida being its name.  After a long, grueling (and unsettling) year of wrapping up big city life we hit the pavement in low-to-high gear and, after a long, semi-grueling drive down I-95 from Brooklyn (and after arriving in the middle of a blinding tropical storm and being forced off the highway and into a less-than-perfect Days Inn) it had come to this: a second floor condo rental overlooking a really nice pool area with coconut palms (with real coconuts at eye level) four feet from my front door.  An amazing friend had gotten the apartment into pristine shape prior to our arrival and all we had to do was shop for victuals and jump in the pool.  This coffee cup will forever be the perfect memento of that blessed moment.  A year, 365 days, has flown by and year two starts today with another count-down.  I plan on unpacking the rest of the boxes really soon.