I have a birdbath in my backyard. I also have a bird feeder. About twice a week I replenish the supply of birdseed to make sure I get continuous visitors of the avian kind. It’s a pleasure to watch our feathered friends frolic in the water and chase each other about, chittering over which morsels are the best. There is always a down side to most pleasures, of course, and this one is obvious. Just like human relationships, no matter how much you love them, when you feed birds you have to deal with their crap. In my backyard it’s worth it since the bird crap is small (because the birds are) and a daily hosing (just like humans) is all it takes to restore order.
My yard is only 20’ x 20’ so the small landing area keeps bigger birds at bay, including the Canada geese that take almost daily v-shaped passage to and from the lake at Prospect Park to my southeast and Green-Wood Cemetery to my northwest. The problem with these geese is that they achieve quite a stature when fully grown and, consequently (might I say, naturally?), their bird shit is directly proportionate to their size. Sometimes a walk in the park is, well, it just ain’t. I occasionally stroll over to the lake with leftover bread but generally confine my largesse to the ducks or swans although the geese are also beautiful birds up close. It’s just that I try not to reward aggressiveness, again both avian and human.
Like every other uninformed lay person, when confronted with an annoyance, I tend to say, hey, why don’t “
they” do something about this, meaning all that goose shit that prevents comfortable strolling or picnicking, etc. Unfortunately, last week “
THEY” did. Like thieves in the dark-of-night (very early Thursday morning) the minions of gloom (ostensibly on orders from the Agriculture Dept…for obvious reasons the actual culprits remain unspecified) sneaked into Prospect Park, rounded up about 400 Canada geese (in molting season they cannot fly/escape), penned them up and then methodically transported them two-by-two to a “nearby building” and
gassed! I’m not sure I even want to know the details of that.
Although done for the sole purpose of “aviation safety,” from what I understand most of this particular flock of geese were probably year-round residents of the park and were not migratory. “They” say, however, that it is impossible to tell which are and which are not so a decision was made to euthanize them all…and with no advance notice. Wow, that secret must have been kept nicely by the “they” that perpetrated this act; not even telling their own families I bet, because the deed was completed swiftly and clandestinely in the middle of the night, thereby circumventing a huge protest that was sure to ensue if known of by the general population.
This is just awful and makes me feel bad. And, although my little backyard continues to provide shelter and succor to a variety of birds, the sky seems suddenly empty.
Update August 2, 2010: Well, that didn't take long. Yesterday, about 5:30 p.m., here they came; about 25 Canada geese winging there way from the park to the cemetery. Probably it won't take long for the park to attain its full complement of 400 just like before. Will another avian holocaust ensue?
Never underestimate the power of idle hands. Idle hands do things like dumpster diving and retrieving old bowling pins with the idea off making them into decorative objects! This can certainly be accomplished but, really, to what end? You dive for ‘em, which can be fun though dangerous to your health. You paint ‘em up (even though the task takes up too much living space) and then what? You certainly don’t want them sitting around your own apartment do you? 
So whom do you foist…er, I mean, proudly give them to, thereby putting pressure on your friends and/or family to make them part of their own home décor? They are not even a good doorstop since they fall over at the slightest touch. It’s a dilemma for both the donor and the donee and, of course, the best advice is to just stay the hell out of other people’s trash in the first place.
