When in the course of human events…

“The New York Times Store, in collaboration with The Caren Archive, is proud to offer one of the most important documents in American history.” This sentence starts a full-page ad currently running in The Times and it is selling one of only six original copies of the Declaration of Independence. (I’ve always thought “original copy” was an oxymoron like “military intelligence” or “rap music” but then that’s another, more personal, subject). The asking price is $1.6 million.

The questions cascade: who the hell is The Caren Archive and how did they get this DoI in the first place? Although there is a purchaser-caveat in the body of the ad, “This genuine Declaration of Independence will be sold to the first qualified buyer;” who’s to say Al Qaeda couldn’t buy it through a legitimate go-between and then publically set a match to it in the ruins of that compound in Pakistan where he-whose-name-we-no-longer-invoke met his timely demise? Why isn’t this particular document in The Library of Congress, which doesn't have one? Where is the one copy that’s not accounted for (in the ad at least). Would I qualify as a buyer? Do you suppose I can offer $1.4 million in this flea market of important historical documents? Would it look good hanging next to the Hirschfeld etching (probably a forgery) of Charlie Chaplain I have hanging in the small bedroom? Would owning it get me laid?

Probably some of these answers can be obtained from our buds at Google but I don’t think I’ll bother. Still, it will be interesting to see who forks over this $1.6 million (or less) just for the cachet of the act of forking. Maybe some hedge-fund billionaire will take it out of petty cash and donate the document to The Library of Congress where it belongs. Doubt it.
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Update August 3, 2011: Still for sale!