Jeter’s nitty gritty
I’m a sports fan, okay? I spend a lot of couch potato time watching athletic stuff on the tube. I own various team caps, jerseys and an insulated cup or two with team logos emblazoned thereon. It’s what we sports fans do, ya know?
But currently something has me rattled. For those who don’t know this, and most of my friends don’t give a rat’s ass, the New York Yankee super star, Derek Jeter, is approaching a milestone number in his long career and that is he will reach 3,000 career hits very soon. As of this date he is only six hits short. Naturally the marketing mavens are gearing up to sell as much paraphernalia as possible to commemorate this event. Pins, magnets, pennants, mugs, bobbleheads, decals, cellphone skins, key chains, jewelry and, of course, all sorts of clothing and athletic equipment. This is no surprise to me and, although I don’t plan on buying (and I hope no one thinks of giving me) any of this junk, there is one item with which I am total flummoxed.
Major League Baseball (with Jeter’s approval) has signed a contract with an outfit called Steiner Sports to market some strategic dirt. Yes, dirt. Hopefully, Jeter will get his 3,000th hit at Yankee Stadium but that doesn’t seem to matter, because wherever he hits it Steiner Sports has permission to go to that particular field and dig up five gallons of dirt from the batter’s box and the territory where shortstops roam. This dirt will be poured into capsules and cups or whatever container is marketable, to be sold (by the tablespoon) to Jeter’s hyper-fans and/or emotional retards for, I’m sure, a maximum whatever-traffic-will-bear dollar amount.
To me this is marketing gone mad in a country (and world) that values celebrity so much they are willing to buy dirt. Not dirt from Jeter’s cleats or a shirt that he got soiled by sliding into second base. This is just dirt. Dirt. Don’t get me wrong, I like Derek Jeter and his athletic prowess is certainly to be admired and he has accomplished a lot in his 13 years (so far) as a professional baseball player. But do I worship the dirt on which he walks? I emphatically do not.
I just wish there was some sort of anti-marketing, anti-greed company that could be hired to urge people not to buy this dirt. That the time has come to draw a line in the…er, well, sand and refuse to fall for the…er, well, crap being shoveled our way.
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Update July 3, 2011: Right after I posted this Jeter stumbled in the dirt and pulled a hamstring or something which has stalled his progression to 3,000. Seems like kismet to me. Irony rules, sometimes, even in sports.
Update July 9, 2011: Jeter got a single in the first inning and a then, his 3,000th hit, a home run! Holy shit! I've admitted that I'm not a huge Yankee fan, but this brought a lump to my throat. I'm watching the rest of the game but don't think I'll stick around to watch them dig up that five gallons of dirt so they can make trinkets to maximize the profits.
But currently something has me rattled. For those who don’t know this, and most of my friends don’t give a rat’s ass, the New York Yankee super star, Derek Jeter, is approaching a milestone number in his long career and that is he will reach 3,000 career hits very soon. As of this date he is only six hits short. Naturally the marketing mavens are gearing up to sell as much paraphernalia as possible to commemorate this event. Pins, magnets, pennants, mugs, bobbleheads, decals, cellphone skins, key chains, jewelry and, of course, all sorts of clothing and athletic equipment. This is no surprise to me and, although I don’t plan on buying (and I hope no one thinks of giving me) any of this junk, there is one item with which I am total flummoxed.
Major League Baseball (with Jeter’s approval) has signed a contract with an outfit called Steiner Sports to market some strategic dirt. Yes, dirt. Hopefully, Jeter will get his 3,000th hit at Yankee Stadium but that doesn’t seem to matter, because wherever he hits it Steiner Sports has permission to go to that particular field and dig up five gallons of dirt from the batter’s box and the territory where shortstops roam. This dirt will be poured into capsules and cups or whatever container is marketable, to be sold (by the tablespoon) to Jeter’s hyper-fans and/or emotional retards for, I’m sure, a maximum whatever-traffic-will-bear dollar amount.
To me this is marketing gone mad in a country (and world) that values celebrity so much they are willing to buy dirt. Not dirt from Jeter’s cleats or a shirt that he got soiled by sliding into second base. This is just dirt. Dirt. Don’t get me wrong, I like Derek Jeter and his athletic prowess is certainly to be admired and he has accomplished a lot in his 13 years (so far) as a professional baseball player. But do I worship the dirt on which he walks? I emphatically do not.
I just wish there was some sort of anti-marketing, anti-greed company that could be hired to urge people not to buy this dirt. That the time has come to draw a line in the…er, well, sand and refuse to fall for the…er, well, crap being shoveled our way.
------------------------------------
Update July 3, 2011: Right after I posted this Jeter stumbled in the dirt and pulled a hamstring or something which has stalled his progression to 3,000. Seems like kismet to me. Irony rules, sometimes, even in sports.
Update July 9, 2011: Jeter got a single in the first inning and a then, his 3,000th hit, a home run! Holy shit! I've admitted that I'm not a huge Yankee fan, but this brought a lump to my throat. I'm watching the rest of the game but don't think I'll stick around to watch them dig up that five gallons of dirt so they can make trinkets to maximize the profits.
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