Dog Day Afternoon

A little touristy advice: if you plan on visiting the amusement park in Coney Island, do your best to approach it from the beachfront entrance. Otherwise you will be totally discouraged at just how shabby, seedy and, yes, just plain dirty the fringes of this world-famous location prove to be. Circumventing this area can be accomplished by parking in the lot at the Aquarium and walking down to the boardwalk or, if you are going by subway, get off one stop before the end of the line and take the skywalk over the bustling avenue that fronts Astroland.

Once you are refreshed by the bracing sea air you can slope into the amusement park and take a look at the stomach churning new rides being offered this year for the first time. They are truly fun to watch but if you choose to actually participate make sure you go on an empty stomach because a couple of these rides will surely empty it for you. Of course the more doable rides are available (I still like the Wonder Wheel; and the Cyclone is a relatively benign roller coaster as compared to the ones at 6 Flags or elsewhere). There are also a variety of kiddie rides that are geared toward toddlers and, thus, also fun to observe.

Another observation: sometimes tradition just ain’t what it used to be. That would be the fare at the world-famous Nathan’s hotdog stand. It’s a given that when you go to Coney Island you have a dog at Nathan’s. In this case, if your palate is not challenged (was it ever?) you can at least say you did it. Frankly the dogs, along with the tradition of eating them, really aren’t what they used to be. It’s obvious that if you order a chili-cheese-dog you will be greeted with the same familiar tough-skinned tube-steak you expected but I’m afraid the chili comes from a five-gallon can and the cheese from a squeeze-bottle. Not the mustard; the cheese. And the mustard and ketchup now come in those little plastic packets that really, you know, suck. The french fries seem to be the same—that is, thick cut and exceptionally greasy (not a bad thing to my jaded tastes).

More advice: also return to your car or subway via the boardwalk. Even though it looks like a straight shot from Nathan’s and would be shorter and, yes, easier. But the new restrooms are positioned on the ocean side of the boardwalk and the ocean breezes might clear your head along with the vague physical unease caused by eating food you shouldn’t have. I can understand the possible stomach upset engendered by flying around in impossible positions on the rides. But having a fling at a stationary table at Nathan’s really shouldn’t but you in jeopardy in the same way.