Urinal Smoothie

I have always thought it would be cool to have a urinal at home. Yes, because it would be convenient for the stand-up community but also because I have always been annoyed by the “splash factor” of the common toilet and the attendant need for constant clean up. Although, like most single men I think, I’m not all that great at keeping up on the housework and why should I burden myself with yet one more piece of porcelain to scrub up? I have a couple of friends who have them in their homes but they are “normal” types (the urinals, not the men) that you find anywhere, although my bud Paul’s is black (to match the rest of his fixtures).

The House & Home section of yesterday’s NY Times (Jan. 25) featured an article regarding this very thing. But the Times (being the Times) focused on, pardon the expression, high-end urinals and if you want, and can afford it, you can buy all kinds of urinals made of all kinds of materials. Yet another niche product for a niche consumer.

The three here are designed by a guy named Clark Sorensen and he’s even had an exhibit (called “Flush”) of his stuff in San Francisco (where else). The orchid urinal looks like it’s right out of Little Shop of Horrors but I wouldn’t mind gilding that lily on a daily basis. The seashell is cool too but it’s seems a desecration to urinate into a chambered nautilus. There are many designs but the ones that caught my eye, of course, are the colorful florals, even though I’m not sure I want to entrust my own personal willie to a receptacle that looks like it might bite back.