Global What?

This is the un-winter of my discontent. NYC has not had a December without snow since 1877; which was (as all of the newscasts seem to say) during the Rutherford B. Hayes administration. No, kind hearts, I was not there to witness that one. It now looks like this period of relative warmth might extend through January and what sort-of frosts my old, cold heart is that my long planned “escape” from the frigid northeastern weather next week won’t be an escape at all. I will not be able to wave blithely to my shivering friends as I board my magic carpet at LGA and journey above the icy clouds to a land of warmth, tank tops and the occasional Speedo.

It’s all about the jealously. I’m where you’re not and I’m warm and need air conditioning to sleep. Maybe part of it is that I’m no longer suffering at the hands of a long automobile commute (40 miles each way) on a daily basis. I freed myself of that last year and each subsequent rush hour when the winds and rains and crises on the roads-of-agony made me all the more thankful for the luxury of going back to bed.

But heed me not…bask in a winter of mercy and mildness and count your winter coats as mere unrequited companions on the road to a dutiful spring.