My Weekend at the...oh, wait...

I like movies, really I do. But I’m not the once-a-week maven I used to be so I pretty much try to pick and choose those movies that I, well, pick and choose. Right now I have the urge to catch something new this weekend or, at least, break down and get myself out of the house, the garden and the bowling alley. I’m not much in the mood for any of the new junk, er, current movies: Mama Mia and/or The Dark Knight will probably never be on my agenda unless, one day, I’m in the company of someone who wants to see a chick flick or a teen toon. Yes, I’m susceptible to peer pressure although, frankly, I’m usually the one applying the pressure. Anyway, as is my wont, I turned to the Friday edition of the New York Times to see what their variety of critics recommend. Well, not much. Here’s the recap with, I think, telling quotes (but out of context, exactly like the raves within the ads for the very same movies):

Swing Vote – “A pleasant muddle about life, liberty and the pursuit of Budweiser…”

In Search of a Midnight Kiss – “…is largely about how this likable pup (our hero) gets off the bench, the couch, his bed – out of his head and into the world – which means it’s about growing up.”

Profit Motive and the Whispering Wind – “There is no narration, and virtually no living human beings appear on the screen. Instead [it] contemplates the violence and struggle of the past by examining the markers and monuments that turn up in graveyards across the country.”

The Mummy; Tomb of the Dragon Emperor – “…the action sequences are edited into an incoherent jumble that makes you feel trapped on a rickety airplane sitting in a pool of yak vomit.”

Sixty Six – “A North London nebbish, whose bar mitzvah is about to be overshadowed by one of the most ecstatic moments in Britain’s history; its unexpected triumph at the World Cup Final…is a dolorous comedy that leans heavily, if inoffensively, on ethnic stereotypes.”

Stealing America; Vote by Vote – “…might have been this year’s most alarming and patriotic documentary if it weren’t so shoddy and dull.”

America the Beautiful – “Clueless, directionless and altogether pointless [it] will outrage only those who have spent the last 50 years in suspended animation.”

Frozen River – “…evokes a perfect storm of present-day woes: illegal immigration, ethnic tension, depressed real estate, high gas prices and dire poverty.” [This movie has garnered universal raves and just might be something I might see someday. That is, on the day I want to get depressed and perhaps suicidal enough to lust for succor on a rickety airplane with a lap full of yak vomit.]

Oh, yeah, lest I forget: There is a retrospective of Elliott Gould movies at the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s “BAMcinematek.” Say what?