Hugo Cabret

When the book The Invention of Hugo Cabret first arrived in bookstores I must confess I read half of it standing in an aisle at Barnes & Noble. Maybe not the best of circumstances but it’s the kind of book that’s an easy read and, well, it just happened. At the time I thought it was good and I liked the story line, but I was kind of disappointed in its merely ordinary writing (I wanted it to be more lyrical and seductive) and, even more, I was not all that impressed by the illustrative drawings. They are also good but, again, ordinary, and I remember thinking at the time I wished this same imaginative subject had been tackled by a better writer and a better artist. The fact it subsequently won The Caldecott Medal (for illustrated children’s literature) didn’t change my mind. I can be pretty awful in that way sometimes.

And then I read that President Obama took his daughters to a small bookstore near the White House (on Small Business Saturday) and bought a copy. Well, damn, says I to myself…maybe I should at least give it a fairer chance at entering my consciousness; but this time I didn’t shag it from B&N and actually bought it. My opinion remains unchanged.

So now it’s been made into a “major motion picture” and, although I liked it, I feel the same way! That is, I think it was directed by the wrong person (Martin Scorsese). Hugo needed someone more in tune with the whimsy of a book a little short on whimsy itself; someone whose vision could encompass the implied “magic” of the story. Someone not glued to the floor by our memory of Taxi Driver and/or Raging Bull. I can’t describe exactly how I feel about it other than saying it left me uneasy and unfulfilled. Again, like the book, I wanted at least some magic and what I’ve taken away from the screening is the memory of a lot of characters running through throngs at the Paris train station. I’m not sure why I should be surprised. I was less than enamored of the book, why did I think I would be charmed by the movie based on it?

And too (I’ve bitched about this before), I’m of the fuddyduddy generation that is mired in the past with fond memories of some wonderful 2-D movies. I guess 3-D is the future but those damn (required) glasses are an abomination. And the smallish bag of M&M Peanut cost $4.75!

Santa Claus is Coming!

Today, by a happy accident of timing, I was in a car traversing the Brooklyn Bridge at about 11:30 a.m. (on my way to a seasonal brunch with some buds). On the walkway above us were literally thousands of people dressed as Santa Claus, or approximations thereof. They were pouring into downtown Manhattan like lemmings, joining what looked like an already-achieved maximum density of Polar (North) related raiment.

What I was witnessing was “SantaCon 2011” which is this years’ version of an annual event that takes place on the second Saturday of December. Although it started as more of a “flash mob” several years ago SantaCon, like other big-city good-ideas (the Halloween parade, etc.) has probably gotten out of hand and now the word “mob” is, well, what it is.

To put a good face on it, participants are asked to bring canned goods to a couple of specific drop-off points after which everybody is just free to wander where their red-noses lead them. It’s all very jolly. To my eye most of the participants seem to be within the 20-30 age bracket and are, thus, not quite the decorous holiday cheer leaders one would hope for. SantaCon is, unabashedly, booze-fueled and as the red-and-white suited crowds surge northward up into the boulevards of lower Manhattan the pit stops become many and crowded.

It was cool to see all of the innovative, less traditional, Santa-ish costumes but it behooved curmudgeons of my ilk to just get out of the way and smile indulgently at what the young whippersnappers come up with next. To try to put this into perspective, it’s not like one has all that much time to take in any one costume; the mob was massive and moving like a red and white tsunami from south to north. According to the website “SantaCon is a non-denominational, non-commercial, non-political and non-sensical Santa Claus convention that occurs once a year for absolutely no reason.”

I suppose there are rules about not throwing up in the gutters but I didn’t bother researching that.

A cookie with charisma

Black and White cookies are a phenomenon of the Northeast and can usually be bought in most bakeries and/or deli’s (although I have noticed some more-commercial, wrapped versions are now hitting the market). They are just plain old cookies made with flour and sugar and eggs, using buttermilk (instead of whole) which is pretty much a recipe for a basic cake. The frosting is confectioners’ sugar with vanilla and, for the black half, adding cocoa powder. Maybe because they are so simple is why they are so good. Also, having to make a decision about having to choose which side of the cookie to eat first is an added positive feature (somewhat like eating Oreos). They taste good; they are visually pleasing and they are interactive. What can you say besides yuuuuuummmmm?

BigMac FAQS

Four or five days ago (December 1st actually) there was a full-page ad in The New York Times espousing how proud McDonald’s is of their new Happy Meals. Less sodium. Fewer calories (accomplished by serving fewer fries). Reduction of trans fat (to zero). Like that--you see, very self-congratulatory.

In spite of this the Happy Meal still does not meet specific nutritional standards in some states and, as a result, they are not allowed to give away free toys.

In the exact same issue of The Times there is an article informing us that McDonald’s has pounced on that word “free” and, to get around the ban, they are charging an extra ten cents for their Happy Meals that includes a toy. (No, the toys cannot be bought without buying the HM’s.)

Those people at McDonald’s must be so pleased with themselves; smirking all the way to the bank. And, no doubt, proudly giving the finger to the rest of us because we are too stupid to understand the bait-and-switch.

In the meantime I tried to find out how much a full-page color ad costs in The NYT. Not being able to break through the “contact-your-account-manager" barrier I was only able to come-up with the half-page rate of $30,100. So a full page ad I surmise must be anywhere in the realm of $50,000 - $100,000. Can anybody help me out here?

Greetings from Charlie

I actually got a real live snail-mail Christmas card today. It shows a photograph of a cat sitting under mistletoe looking up at a very big dog towering over it. Said dog has a mighty speculative expression on his mug. The outcome of this juxtaposition is also speculative; going from kissy-snuggly all the way to interspecies violence. Inside it says “Peace on earth and in every heart. Merry Christmas” and is signed by my friend Charlie who lives in Palm Springs, CA.

Scrawled (yes, handwritten) in and around the sentiment* is the following:

Dear John,

Let’s deconstruct “Merry Christmas” to better understand this ubiquitous, blithe mouthing that falls so easily from the tongues of our Xmas brethren, even as the pepper spray lingers over their shopping victims. (“Merry Christmas” is used below only as social camouflage for the pagan themes & Manichean dualities contained in this card = Light & Dark, Good & Evil, Dog & Cat.)

“Christ,” the iconic Man/God, has been marginalized over the years and, in lip service only, is central to the modern Season. This waning is evident when “mas” is appended to His name. “Mas,” means “more” in Spanish, “conspicuous greed” in Latin, and “appalling materialism” in Greek. Hence, our modern Holiday customs have linguistic underpinnings.

As for “Merry,” its meaning is of medieval origin and it can be understood in its straight-forward sense. However, its effect in the social context is urgent & commanding. It leaves no room for alternative moods or feelings, thereby trapping innocents in an emotional strait-jacket of cheer while crushing nuanced & healthy expressions of the soul. It particularly mocks those with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Such as me.

Peace & Love,

Charlie

[*with permission--please note the acronym for Seasonal Affective Disorder is SAD]