Rats of the Caribbean

Movie attendance is no longer much of an attraction for me. Once in a while I get the urge to see something but I’m afraid I’m way too critical now and end up disappointed and usually pissed off because I fell for the hype of that particular movie. I do have the chutzpa, and patience, to wait at least three weeks after a movie opens to cut down on possible alarming crowds. These days skipping three weekends or more, especially if you can go to a matinee on a weekday, can almost guarantee an entire row to yourself, if not an entire theater.

The Arts & Leisure Section of last Sunday’s NY Times, as is their wont each year, did a comprehensive and exhaustive listing, with a synopsis and sometimes catty remarks, of every movie (141) that will be hitting the theaters this summer. There weren’t many that caught my attention but, I must confess, I’m not immune to clever advertising so we’ll see what my future holds.

I will see “Ratatouille” but (full disclosure) I more or less have to because my favorite nephew works at Pixar (although not on Rat). I’ll probably see Pirates of the Caribbean III because I did like the first two, even though I’m anything but a fan of sequels. For instance, I’ve missed the last two Harry Potter movies although I’ve seen snippets on television. I bolted from the Spiderman franchise after the first one. I liked the first two Jason Bourne movies so I’ll wait the specified three weeks and catch the third one. Hairspray? The Simpsons Movie? Iffy. Shrek III? Probably not. I will no doubt get conned into seeing some stuff through peer pressure and bowing to the common good with my posse, but I probably won’t be happy about it. I’ll also see spur-of-the-moment movies because of fortuitous scheduling and/or shopping mall ennui.

Anyway, it’s a good thing the movie industry doesn’t depend on folks of my ilk. The Hollywood sign would rot away.