Whatever Happened to Bowling?

How the mighty have fallen. 100 years ago I bowled in a league in the East Village but had to give it up when my job carried me out to Long Island. We bowled at this really funky old alley on University Place called the Bowlmor Lanes. It was on two floors and must have been built in the 1940’s and was probably creaky even then. But it was funky and it was ours. Anyway, I have joined a league again and we bowl at the new fancy-schmancy sports complex at Chelsea Piers on the west side of Manhattan. If you drive along the West Side Highway you can’t miss it.

The lanes are top-of-the-line electronically-enhanced alleys with people (mostly young women) with walkie talkies keeping tabs on their maintenance. The small Pepsi costs $2.49 at the snack bar…other foodstuffs are priced accordingly. In other words, outrageous. The bowling itself is expensive too but I guess I shouldn’t be shocked by the change in prices on anything these days. There is also a certain “attitude” amid the young ladies who man the various concessions. Tipwise, it’s a demeanor to be regretted.

I tried to remember the last time I bowled and it has to be at least 13 or 14 years ago. In my old league days my average hovered in the high 160’s which was not too bad considering the condition of the facility. The equipment (balls and shoes) at the Piers are technically far superior to what we had in those days and the pins themselves seem to fly much more extravagantly than I remembered. Nonetheless I’m a tad ashamed to lay my scores on you but here you go: 116, 124 and 130. I would have done a lot better on the third game, since I was getting the hang of it again, but I sort of ran out of steam. Believe it or not, bowling does require a modicum of stamina.

We are called the Strike Squad Supreme which is just silly. I tried to surreptitiously change the “Squad” to “Squat” but they caught me and accused me of not having the proper team spirit. Can you imagine? Oh, well, onward and upward! If not the hero incarnate, I plan to be at least a credit to my team.