Aquarium Wonder Wheel Top Spin

I took the subway out to the New York aquarium one day this week. I like aquariums and this one is not great but it’s tolerably okay. I guess, being the social critic I am, that I should voice an opinion that it’s fairly shameful that NYC’s aquarium is so mediocre; we are NEW YORK, after all, and…well, you know, blah blah blah. It’s in Coney Island, snug up against the beach, the CI boardwalk and Astroland; one of the “playlands” for which Coney was justifiably famous in its heyday.

You kind of have to be careful regarding your timing going to this aquarium. During the summer it is a magnet for a million “campers”… those large groups of colorfully tee-shirted kids whose directors, mentors and/or volunteers are desperate to get them outdoors and into some sort of “learning” environment. Who knows, maybe it works. My strategy is to go fairly late, meaning about 2:00 p.m. (after lunch) and catch the last feedings and shows at 4:00. By that time the crowds have thinned down to ordinary folks who actually came to take a look at fish.

Is it of interest that I had a tuna wrap for lunch at the cafeteria? Seemed right to me at the time and I didn’t see a tuna tank where I could choose my own filling so I presume it came out of a can.

After my fill of fish and it being a fine day I exited onto the boardwalk and took quite a long walk on its boards. At that hour the beach crowd had dispersed quite a bit as had the folks there for the rides and cotton candy and stuff. On a whim I decided I should get a bird’s eye view of my surroundings and strolled over to the Wonder Wheel; a behemoth of a Ferris wheel on which some of the trams slide and rock in an inner circle. I chose a steady-as-she-goes perimeter car, not because I’m skeered of sliding and rocking, but because the stationary trams reach the tippy-top from which the view is pretty spectacular and the reason for my participation. Oh, before I forget, when I first came to NYC in the early 70’s I am pretty sure the Wonder Wheel cost a quarter; certainly not much more than 50 cents. Guess what one ride costs now? One ride consists of only two circuits. While you mull that over…

On my way to the Wheel I passed a ride called “Top Spin.” I have never seen anything like it in my life. Some maniacally sadistic mechanical engineer trapped in the resentful body of a super-geek must have designed this thing. It’s not really a physically huge or tall ride like a roller coaster or anything, and it doesn’t look lethal if you’re just passing by (there is even a nice row of fountains underneath it…visually pleasant, see) but if your timing is right you can witness two rows, ten each, of screaming teenagers being tossed around like flotsam-in-a-typhoon and spinning with super-G speed and then, the final insult, while hanging upside down, those small benign jets of water turn into fire hoses, thoroughly drenching the riders. I watched Top Spin three times, mouth agape, not believing my eyes. Can this ride be the least bit safe? Then I noticed an odd phenomenon and decided one of the scariest things is that the passengers don’t, or can’t, scream! I think they are just shocked into silence. Yes, there is loud, heavy-metal music, and the mechanical noises are rudely noticeable but I still don’t think I heard anybody screaming but, personally, I felt a shriek stick in my throat just watching. Maybe I did hear yelling but was too involved in the visual to remember for sure.

I bought an Italian ice (peach flavored) at a stand on the boardwalk and strolled back toward the aquarium. I took my shirt off to enjoy the ocean breeze and stopped once to stand within the scope of a “mister” which had been installed on an advertising kiosk. Instead of putting my polo back on I donned my new souvenir tee shirt (light blue with the words “New York Aquarium” on the front made to look like you’re looking down through water to read it) to wear on the subway ride back home. It’s a cool shirt; but then what makes a shirt cool is the dude wearing it, right? All in all, a pretty nice day at the beach in Coney. In case you were wondering…no, I did not heed the siren call of the dogs-of-summer at Nathan’s.

The Wonder Wheel now costs $5 for one ride. Or five rides for $20 which was tempting but really stupid. It’s not that great a view.