My twee tree

The word "twee" in The Oxford Universal Dictionary is defined as sweet; dainty; chic. This tree is all of those; and maybe more. It's a living ivy topiary with 100 cat-penis lights stuffed up the middle and adorned with every small ornament I own; also probably about 100. It looks great both day and night and has many hidden pleasures when perused up close. To the right is a small ceramic creche (an artistic representation of the Nativity scene) from Mexico; given to me by a friend many years ago and sweet enough to overcome my basic lack of religiosity. It too is quite dainty and, well, sweet. I covered a box with Christmas wrap and placed the pot inside. The stuff around the bottom are all the toys and festive junk I could find.

Next year I'm straping on an athletic supporter, taking my biggest axe and going out to chop down a redwood and decorating it with my biggest balls. The man is the message...