Transporter Dreams

I had this dream last night, very vivid, and I thought I needed to get it down before it drifts away. It’s a SciFi story and it even has a punch line.

My sister and I were in the Cincinnati airport (I have no clue why we were in Cincy) and we were trying to use our boarding passes in a kiosk in the lobby. We kept putting them in the slot and they kept being rejected; like a limp, faded dollar bill in a candy machine. We tried several other kiosks, to no avail, and time was running out so we went to customer service. The guy behind the counter inserted our boarding passes and looked at a computer read-out, turned to us and said, “Are you two related?” We explained we were brother and sister and he said, well, there’s the problem.

It was about this time in my dream that I realized that we were not taking an actual flight but were being “transported.” That is, through the magic of science we would be sent through the ozone to our destinations and rematerialize there. I was going to LaGuardia and she was going to San Francisco and this seemed, well, just the normal way to travel.

We were both sweating it out and my sister said, “What’s the problem? We only have five minutes before our flights.” He said there was an INCEST BLOCK on our tickets because we had requested the same “in-flight” dream and that one of us would have to make another choice. We had both chosen an XXX-rated “dream” called Five Male Lawyers and we didn’t want to tell each other how perverted we were being but, because we are brother and sister, we were not allowed to enter this dream world with the same scenario because it would be possible our personae would interact. We were both embarrassed by this faux pas and blamed it on our ignorance of the rules and we sheepishly discussed who had to switch. My sis kindly gave in and when we went back to our transporter kiosks our boarding passes worked nicely. So we hugged goodbye, just like at JetBlue’s JFK terminal, and just before she entered the kiosk she turned to me and said, “Well, if we’re ever in Cincinnati again we now know five lawyers we can stay with.” And she was gone.

Then, honest to cookies, I had this wild dream with five lawyers from Cincinnati. They were great but, damn, so was I! I woke up laughing.

I highly recommend this dream for any gender and/or preference, and I want to thank my sister for letting me have it; and the next time we transport together I’ll let her choose first. But I have one question that’s been nagging at me all day. What dream did SHE choose?