AUNT JUDY'S BOOK OF PUNCHLINES

Chapter One

…The Aristocrats!”

…(Scottish accent)…but fook ONE goat!”

…I don’t know, but that one in the middle looks like Willie Nelson!.”

…and nine months later she gave birth to a toaster oven!”

…can you make one for me like that in white?”

…maybe so, but you’re pissin’ on my boot!”

…shoulda bought a hat, Ray, shoulda bought a hat!"

…because you piss me off, that’s why!”

…I sure as hell didn't wish for a 12 inch PIANIST!"

…I don’t know, but it’s eating my popcorn!”

…no, pequeno saltamontes, te cagaste en los pantalones!”

…(Indian guru accent) you mean it’s NOT a bowl of cherries?”

…and for the rest of you, thank you for flying Alitalia!”

…oh, is there a card?”

...looked so good I ate it myself!"

...but why would you want a girl with arthritis?"

...I donno whatcha been dooin' but yah won first prize!"

...but my thumb still hurts!"

…if I could walk like that I wouldn’t need a powder puff!”

…I don’t know, but it started as a wart on my ass!”